sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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