i dont even know how to be here
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I have aggressive nipples.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Randomize
