are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
