He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
