He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
