Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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