At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
