Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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