Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
