I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
