I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize