once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
