can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
