Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
it wasn't lemon gatorade
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
