I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
