Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
