Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
