I smell stomach acid.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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