I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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