shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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