that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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