I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
