What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
