who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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