Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Randomize
