As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Randomize
