I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
