I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I wish my penis had an off switch
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Randomize
