You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
