We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
