How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
