yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
