It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
