it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
