Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Randomize
