He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Randomize
