whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Randomize
