the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
my being single is dangerous.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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