Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
She bit a glass in half.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
