Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
