walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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