Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
