when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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