How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
