She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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