How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
This house was built for laser tag.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
