this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
