thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
