I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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