K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
