I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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