Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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