there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
