is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
