Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
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