i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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