Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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